destiellore:

the fucking thought, the mere fucking idea

of castiel, all alone, letting his mind wander and letting himself imagine what his true happiness would look like

just picturing himself and dean being romantic together, being able to casually but intimately hold his hand, kiss his forehead, take him to bed, and feeling how happy that would make him to the point that he knew that was what would (but could never) be his ultimate doom

it gives me neurological brain damage

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    the fucking thought, the mere fucking idea...of castiel, all alone, letting his mind...
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