taylor, 24, dean is beautiful ♡

donestiel:

thatsuperawkwardgirl:

Ok I was ranting to my wife about this but just. Dean does not do anything for himself. Like. Nothing. Except over indulge in sex and food and booze. But those aren’t FOR himself those are to cope because he doesn’t truly do anything for himself. He lives his life for his father’s orders, to avenge his dead mother/earn his alive mother’s love and attention, to keep his brother safe. Any and all things Dean does are rooted in that. But loving Cas, and being loved by Cas, is selfish. It doesn’t serve a purpose, it doesn’t fit the carefully constructed narrative Dean surrounds himself with/deludes himself with. It is just for Dean and he loves that. Post good-version-of-supernatural Dean thinks about that constantly and it makes him greedy. He hoards Cas’s love like a dragon hoarding gold. He runs his hands over Cas reverently and thinks “mine, mine, mine”. He drapes Cas in his clothes and feeds him everything and anything and takes care of him when he’s sick because he is the most precious thing Dean knows.

Adding Sarah’s other comments because she’s too shy to but: Dean is so angry at the beginning of season 13 because he loved Cas and he misses him but also because it was the only thing outside of obligation that he had and it was taken from him.

and god, how must Dean have felt in s4 that this angel, a warrior of god, was interested in him? Not even from a romantic angle or anything. But after years of being told by his father that his only value was in keeping his brother alive and helping John on his revenge mission, this angel cared about HIM. Looked straight into his soul. Trusted him with secrets he’d never told anyone. Believed in him, prayed for him to do the right thing, listened to him in defiance of heaven. Sam had always been the golden boy but this angel burned his mark on DEAN.