like i can’t even say that dean was in the wrong during the 15x03 debacle because, like. it feels like a long time to us, but in-universe, the time between mary dying and 15x03 is……..not very long. he’s grieving and mad at jack, but then jack dies, too, so he’s grieving jack but he never stopped being mad at jack, and he just. dean feels everything too much. so i get why he just! shuts down! it was a situation cas couldn’t be in anymore and he was right for that but it doesn’t mean that dean is the big bad, here. it just. sucked. for everyone. it was a total collapse of their relationship that had been building for some time.
i’d also just. i really need to see the original 15x03 script, because bobo said that the original scene was both longer and not about mary, so like. what was it. i think that would change everyone’s perceptions immensely.
Okay it’s like yes they are head over heels in love with each other, but they are also best friends. They went from eye fucking each other for extended periods of time in complete silence, to bickering like an old married couple. A 300 million year old warrior of God who’s never experienced emotion or had an relationship with another being and a man who’s never had a relationship with another person outside of his family, let alone an actual friend in his life, became best fucking friends. And they are each other’s first best friend. Like they are family, Cas lives in their house, they have shared jokes and memories, they do dumb shit together, they watch movies together, they just hang out and do nothing sometimes, they know each other better than anyone, and they trust each other and they fucking love each other so fiercely. And it’s like yes, Cas is the only thing in the universe that defied Chuck’s narrative, because he loves Dean, but it’s more than that, because like that’s his fucking person. Dean is the person who understands Cas the most when nobody else does, the person he trusts, the person he talks to, the person he tells things he’s never told another soul, and it’s established that Cas is also that person for Dean.
They are each other’s people. And they were both content to just stay best friends forever and never mention how they truly felt thinking their feelings were unrequited, because that’s how important they are to each other.
i have to go off about this for a second. so much of their relationship is about eye contact. we can see it from their very first moments together. cas’s unnerving constant stare. and dean looking back at him, always trying to understand. each trying to figure out the other. dean’s gotten used to cas’s gaze. it’s as much a part of the conversation as the words they say, sometimes more. so he knows when cas won’t meet his eye, it’s because cas feels he’s letting him down. so he makes him look. he needs him to see. to see his unwavering faith in him. because he knows cas now. they’ve saved each others lives. he knows despite whatever doubts and conflicts cas feels… cas has been there for him. dean doesn’t trust easy. he’s used to people leaving him. and when he met cas, everything was screaming at him not to trust this being. and yet… just as cas had said, “you’re different”- cas is different for dean too. a small part of him, a part he’d never admit to anyone, marvels at the fact that his mother was right. an angel was watching over him. and now here he is, in the flesh. he pulled him from hell and left a mark on his body and soul. he can feel it when their eyes meet. yes, they’re different. they’re tied together now and he will never let cas forget. that he has faith in him.
just the fact that both dean and cas were perfectly content to live a sex-free romance-free life in a monogamous platonic partnership with one another cause they thought the other couldnt reciprocate in the same way. like not even in a ‘ill take what i can get’ way but in a ‘im truly blessed to share this with you’ way. that is truly a wee bit of unconditional love for love’s sake with no expectation of anything in return innit
the hays code of it all
I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. [5x02 | 15x18]
if supernatural was a narratively coherent show dean and cas would talk about hell all the time and we would know exactly how it all went down. but supernatural is not a coherent show and so hell only is word whispered between them in the rarest moments of extreme emotion in either direction [dean’s cruel “you’ve been there before” in 15x03] [cas’s reverent “ever since i pulled you out of hell” in 15x18] or a taunt by their enemies [michael’s “or whatever” in 14x10, chuck’s “they did what they were told” in 15x17] leaving us to feel like it’s not just an important moment, but a way more intimate and private moment between them than it ever actually needed to narratively be. supernatural is a good show because it’s such a bad show.
once again, in trying to de-Destielify the narrative, they turned the Destiel up to eleven